Courtship: Is it really necessary?

There’s this video that went viral recently on Facebook. In this post, I’m sharing with you my take about this subject: Courtship.

In my understanding, the guy’s point in the said video is that, put your guards down right away if you already feel that you like the guy even if you don’t know him well yet, so you’ll have the chance to get to know the real person that he is. NON-VERBATIM: “If I like you, and you like me, then let’s be together now and let’s see what will happen from there”.

NANINIWALA AKONG TAMA ANG PANANAW NIYA… 5 years ago.

Noon, I don’t really believe in courtship. Ang paniniwala ko kasi dati, hindi mo totoong makikilala ang lalaki sa ligawan kasi best foot forward naman sila. Syempre, gusto nilang i-win ka, kaya lahat ng good attributes nila ang isho-showcase nila sayo. So when I met my last ex (FYI, he’s a total stranger. :D), sinagot ko siya agad after ilang weeks lang. Oo na. Alam ko. NAKAKALOKA ako! Hahaha

Kasi sabi ko nga noon, kapag kami na, dun ko lang makikilala yung kabuuang pagkatao nya. Hindi yung magaganda lang. Kundi lahat… maganda, panget, mabuti, masama, normal, abnormal.

Fast forward to one year after maging kami, lumalabas na yung differences namin. Nag-start kaming mag-away ng madalas. Silence became so annoying. When we don’t feel like being boyfriend-girlfriend, we can’t even be just friends kasi nga, wala naman kami nabuong friendship bago naging kami. We don’t know each other that well to the point na yung mga malilit na bagay lang sana, eh lumalaki. Don’t get me wrong. That’s not the only reason why we ended our relationship, but that’s one of the reasons.

Another fast forward to almost two years of being together, we broke up. Pakiramdam ko nun, ang dali niya lang ako binitawan. It was actually the third time he asked me to break up that I finally let it be.

Now, more than two years of being single, I realized things that I should’ve done before, that maybe, just maybe, saved us from heartache.

It’s true that experience will teach you valuable lessons that will make you a better person. 🙂 I’ve learn a lot on my past experiences that I became wiser now.

Ang pinupunto ko dito, girls, ‘wag niyo ibigay ng basta basta lang yung puso niyo. It’s precious, ladies. 🙂 Hayaan niyong paghirapan ng lalaki na makuha yan, kasi, as cliché as it may sound, ang pinaghirapan hindi basta basta binibitawan. Kapag naging kayo na at dumating yung mga pagsubok, makita niyo yung differences niyo, hindi basta basta susukuan ng lalaki yan kasi pinaghirapan ka niya. Hindi niya hahayaang mawala ng ganun ganun lang yung tao na pinag-effort-an niyang makuha.

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During the courtship stage, bumuo kayo ng “relationship” na siguradong magla-last forever which is FRIENDSHIP, kayo man ang itinadhana o hindi. Kasi dito, tingin ko makikilala mo siya ng hindi lang maganda ang nakikita mo. Sabayan mo na din ng malupit na dasal kay Papa God na sana, tumibok yung puso mo sa taong gusto Niya, inilaan Niya, para sayo. Kasi sa ganyang paraan, sigurado kang tama ang magiging desisyon mo kasi sinama mo Siya sa equation.

As God said, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” – Psalm 139:14. So don’t put your guards down just like that. GUARD YOUR HEART. Whoever wants it will do everything no matter how long it will take, just so in time, you will willingly put that guard down for him.

There’s a reward in WAITING. Trust me. Most importantly, trust HIM. ‘Wag magmadali. Better yourself first while you’re waiting for the person who will make you feel extra complete. EXTRA because you should be complete, with or without him.

You are precious, you deserve to be wooed without feeling guilty about it. You deserve to get to know him well enough before you can ask him to finally take care of your heart.

Since then, be the one to take care of that fragile, most precious thing you possess.

P.S. Everything I said is mainly based on my experience. My opinion and perspective may be different from you, so don’t consider this as a standard but just an advice. Ciao! 🙂

xoxo,

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