You decided to close the door that caused you to get your heart broken, but someone knocks. Katakot di ba? haha Pagbubuksan mo ba?
Will you open it… again? But how? Why? When? The person behind the door keeps knocking, patiently waiting for you to open it, while you’re there on the other side, staring at that same door. You don’t know what to do. In your heart, there’s a voice whispering that you open it, but in your mind is a voice SCREAMING so many questions that you have to ask yourself…..
What if he just wants a game you are not good in playing?
What if he disappears after you opened the door?
What if he’s not serious with his intentions?
What if he’s the same person who hurt you?
What if he will just hurt you too?
What if this won’t work?
What if he will also leave you on the same moment that you need him?
….. and the list of endless “what ifs” goes on.
Yes, I know it’s hard. For someone who went through a mind, heart and soul-wrecking heartache, it’s understandable that you became more careful of who you will trust, what words to believe and what actions you can say are from someone who’s as real as those actions.
Nakakatakot na maranasan mo na naman ulit lahat ng naranasan mo. It’s hard to make another mistake of falling in love with the wrong person again. Mahirap masaktan at ang makasakit.
Pero di ba, dalawang bagay naman ang naranasan mo noon? Ang maging masaya at malungkot. Bakit puro lungkot lang ang nakikita mo ngayon? Bakit hindi mo naman tingnan yung mga panahong naging masaya ka? That feeling when your heart is full of love to give to someone who reciprocates the same amount of love to you. That feeling of “kiligs” on dates, anniversaries, “tampuhan” and “suyuan”.
I know that it’s only you who can make yourself genuinely happy, but a little help from someone else adds more value to it. Give yourself the chance to love and be loved and don’t be afraid to fall in love again. That fear is just a trap to your real happiness.
Here are the three things that you should know first before opening that door:
- Make sure that you’re already healed from your heartache. Hindi band-aid si ate/kuya na kumakatok para gawin mo lang na panakip ng sugat. Tapos kapag magaling na, aalisin at itatapon mo na. Wag ganun, teh! You have to ask yourself if you have really moved on and if your heart is back on track. Be fair. If the person behind that door is willing to love you completely, you should open it if and only if you are also willing to love him/her completely. Walang labis. Walang kulang.
2. Now that you have certainly healed and moved on, another thing to make sure is to check if the person behind the door is your “type”. This is not only on physical, but on the spiritual and emotional aspects as well. Get to know him/her. Kaya nga ginawa ang peephole eh, so you can see the person on the other side. Look through it. Kilatisin mo maigi. Baka naman kapag nakita mong gwapo, pagbuksan mo agad! Please lang!! Hands-off of the door!!! Pwera nalang siguro kung si James Reid yung kumakatok. haha Chos! Kilatisin mo siya by asking questions about life, goals, dreams, family, anything. Whatever it is that matters to you. Hindi ko sinasabing paniwalaan mo agad. I strongly believe that action speaks much louder than words. Just listen and remember everything he will say because you’ll need that soon.
3. You should have built a strong wall around you. Wall that he needs to break (yes, walls ang bine-break hindi ang puso!) before he could be with your heart. This is for you to tell other people that your heart is well-guarded and it has no time to play games, waste time and get broken again for unworthy person. If this wall scares the person, then you know already that he’s not deserving of your heart.
After this, you can now decide if you will open the door for him or not. If not, I guess you’ve not yet fulfilled the three points above and you’ve made the right decision not to open your door yet. Give yourself time.
But to those who decided to give that person the chance and you’ve opened your door for him, it’s now his turn to prove his intentions. Remember the wall you built? He has to destroy it. Oh diba, saan ka nakakita ng bahay, na pinto muna bago pader! hahaha That’s because you’re unique, girl! 🙂
Allow him to exert all his effort. Allow him to do actions more than just uttering words. Paghirapan niya yung gusto niyang makuha. This is also the best time to know him even more. This is the time when you can prove if what he said to you are all true (item 2 above). This is the time when his intentions, patience and persistence will be put to test. Let him prove to you that he’s willing to bring down that wall and that he’s ready to replace it as your hearts rightful protector.
If you’re the kind of girl who loves flowers, chocolates, sweet nothings, then let him give those things to you. Kung mas gusto mo naman na hatid-sundo ka, then let him do it for you. Naniniwala ako na lahat ng pinaghirapang makuha, iniingatan para hindi na talaga mawala.
Pahirapan mo siya. Yung tipong mapapatanong siya sa sarili niya kung lovelife ba ang pinasok nya o hunger games. hahaha Kidding aside, bigyan mo lang siya ng pagkakataong patunayan na seryoso siya sayo. That all he wants is to be with you, love you and care for you, genuinely. This is also the best time to build friendship with him. Kaibiganin mo siya habang pinahihirapan mo. hahaha That’s also one way of destroying your walls diba? You’ll be more comfortable with him around. Imaginin mo yung walls na binuo mo para sa puso mo, tatanggalin niya to build another foundation for both of you this time, which is friendship. Walang nasayang na brick, diba? 🙂
If in any case that during this stage you or both of you realized that there’s no spark between you guys, at least you still both built friendship. Wala pa ding nasayang. 🙂
But if by this time, you can already feel that you’re starting to fall for the guy and that you can see that there is a potential of you getting together, I hope before you make it official, be sure that he respects and loves you and cares for you the way you wanted to be loved and cared for because you deserve that. You’re a princess of a King. Nothing but the best for you.
Relationships are unique. These pointers are just guide because at the end of the day, there’s really no rules or formulas in love. The decision is still on you, and how the other person made you feel.
Bottom line is that, don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Take another risk because who knows, maybe the person you’ve been waiting for so long and the person God has sent and destined for you are the same person standing behind your closed door, patiently waiting for you to open it.
Cheers to us, Warriors of Love! Keep the faith and listen carefully, baka may kumakatok na sa pinto mo. hehe Ciao!
P.S. credits to all the owner of the photos used in this post. Thank you! 🙂